Dear friend, greetings and warm wishes for the new year. ✨
Over the next twelve articles, I’m attempting to capture a decade’s worth of learnings on how to move through a healing or awakening process as effectively and smoothly as possible. (!!!)
By “effectively” I mean in a way that’s safe, sound, and real. This will also be the “fastest” way through, because it minimizes the chances of getting stuck in psychological distortions or merry-go-round situations that take you nowhere.
My hope is that these reflections will help create a stable ground for any healing or inner work you take up in the months and years to come.
Before I continue, let me assure you that everyone has something or the other to heal. Healing is about meeting any issue that prevents us from growing properly and living life fully. It is a natural process of purification and expansion. If you believe that you’ve had an easy life or that you have nothing to heal, it’s possible that you have set up systems of avoidance or denial that keep you limited, perhaps innocently so. For example, it’s not uncommon to unknowingly ignore feelings of self-hatred while single-mindedly pursuing achievement.
Not everyone awakens, but awakening also involves intense healing. So, for the purposes of this article series, I’m lumping together healing, transformational, and awakening processes.
Needless to say, this is a vast topic area. I’m humbled to be able to offer a birds’-eye view based on my own personal experiences as well as my observations of the people I’ve coached and the many wonderful truth-seekers I’ve learned from, all from various age groups and walks of life.
My suggestions take the form of twelve qualities to adopt during your healing journey, as well as warnings about a few of the associated pitfalls. One quality per article in this article series, in no particular order.
If the material doesn’t jive with you or if it doesn’t make sense at the moment, it may be useful in the future. Keep it around! 🧡 Also, if you find yourself triggered by any portion of it, there may be something there for you to reflect on.
Know that the path can feel dark and rocky sometimes. Just when you think you can’t possibly crumble any further, you are brought to your knees.
For those of you on a spiritual path, the aloneness can be excruciating. The pain arising from the release of stuck energies, the back and forth between truth and illusion, the never-ending deaths and rebirths, can be excruciating.
It has felt that way for me through many dark nights of the soul. But there have also been beautiful periods of bliss and peace. It has actually all been so very beautiful, all of it.
And now, the first of the twelve qualities: Patience.
Day 1: Patience
Patience is quite possibly the most difficult quality to embody when one is in pain, especially for those of us who believe we can chart out a timetable and lay down a sequence of steps for our healing.
It can be tempting to jump to the “quick-and-easy” solutions being peddled out there. Please don’t let this happen to you, especially if the information you’re relying on comes from a flashy individual who promises instantaneous change but may not have had the same traumas or issues you have (or, in many cases, lacks genuine concern for your well-being).
These quick “fixes” usually provide temporary relief or surface-level shifts, not lasting transformation. For example, a weekend workshop or an inspiring lecture or a tarot card reading might lead to a conceptual awareness of one’s issues, but no real change in one’s long-held patterns.
Alternatively, some people experiment with advanced transformational technologies out of a desire for quick results even before their personal psychology is ready for them.
Most of us have much inner work to get through before we can break free of an issue, let alone have a strong enough psyche that can handle the fires of transformation. Avoiding this work is to risk getting stuck in adaptations that are hard to disentangle as one makes progress on the healing journey.
It can also be tempting to flit about from one practice to another when initial trials seem not to be delivering observable results. For example, it’s common to throw in the towel prematurely when learning how to meditate–you have to practice for a while before it feels like a relaxing rather than a sleep-inducing activity.
Another aspect of patience–healing happens at multiple levels. For instance, one has to wait for the body to catch-up to the changes occurring on other levels before a true shift is evident. Not knowing this initially, I felt stumped by my “lack of progress,” which only complicated my healing process.
The mind can’t fathom why things aren’t moving but still it tries to know. It wants to figure things out. That’s when you have to learn even more patience. And if you are not a patient person by nature, your patience is likely to be tested multiple times over.
Filling up the boredom with more videos, readings, or consultations with experts, is a common avoidance mechanism. It reinforces the idea that one doesn’t know how to do that hard, boring thing that doesn’t offer overnight results.
Finally, one can feel discouraged when an issue that one thought was already resolved comes back. This is normal and happens all the time. Healing is not a linear process. Each round brings new subtleties to the fore and tests your readiness for new growth.
To state what might be obvious, the healing journey is about trust, dedication, and a long-term mindset, not about strategy or brute force. A daily practice helps us avoid the pitfalls mentioned above.
Closing thoughts for day 1
Everything you hear out there, including what I’m sharing, is ultimately opinion. It’s important to find your own path, to be self-honest, to take only what feels right to you. And to keep going–don’t let anyone or anything ever convince you that transformation is not possible. 🧡
Did you resonate with anything above? Also, if you feel called to add nuance to any points I make throughout this article series, do share your thoughts in the comments. 🙏
Much love,
Anubha
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It is a well written article. I am not sure how the word "Healing" is understood or interpreted by everyone. What kind of experience makes one feel I need healing? If I look back into my own life, I cannot imagine a situation, I need healing. I think it may help reading to delve more on the word "Healing".
The sentence "Most of us have much inner work to get through before we can break free of an issue, let alone have a strong enough psyche that can handle the fires of transformation". In order to understand, it would help in understanding what "inner work" really means and what is it.