If I had to pick a favorite out of the twelve qualities being covered in this article series, it would have to be integrity. All else follows from embodying this quality.
For those who are new here, this is the sixth article in a series about how to heal and awaken in a way that is safe, sound, and real. So far, I’ve discussed patience, community, knowledge, skepticism, and walking away.
Day 6: Integrity
Integrity is often equated with moral uprightness. Indeed, dictionaries and wikipedia alike define integrity as strict adherence to a code of moral principles.
This definition doesn’t align with the examples I’d jotted down in preparation for this post. To me, integrity is about perceiving the truth, and taking action aligned with that truth, on a moment to moment basis.
Consider a person whose eyes are soulful, whose voice reverberates with authenticity and power, and whose inner world is so harmonious that feelings of peace wash over you in their presence. A person who doesn’t pretend to be anything other than who they truly are. A person who is so deeply aligned with the flow of life that life expresses itself through them unimpeded—when they dance, the dance dances itself, when they speak, the words speak themselves. To me, this is what living with integrity looks like. Such a person is constantly evolving towards the greatest life possible.
I’ll have to start by unpacking what it means to perceive and align with the truth.
Perceiving the truth is a process of discernment. It entails seeing ourselves and the situation we are in as clearly as possible and then tapping into our inner wisdom to determine how best to respond.
At the very minimum, seeing clearly requires that we examine ourselves and the world around us with objectivity, dropping any conditioning or cognitive distortions that get in the way of clear sight. We do this by asking ourselves regularly: What are the true motives behind my behavior? Am I being true to myself here? How are my beliefs and societal conditioning coloring my experience of this situation, and how would my perceptions change if I were to relax those filters?
Every moment offers grist for the mill to develop one’s ability to see clearly–to know what it is like to embody one’s authentic self and to relax one’s particular beliefs and ways of perceiving the world. It’s important to do this lovingly, patiently, non-judgmentally, and without constructing new mental filters in the process. 🧡
Tapping into our inner wisdom—our nonverbal intuitive knowing—is also part of perceiving the truth. It is what guides us towards the “best” response possible in any given situation, i.e. the response that leads to the highest good of all involved. Naturally, the best response varies from person to person and situation to situation—truth is therefore relative and not absolute.
To be in integrity we take this action and then learn from what follows. If we follow this empirical process as best as we can, a virtuous cycle ensues in which we naturally expand our consciousness and experience healing and growth–which in turn enhances our abilities to know our authentic selves, even as we continue to evolve, and to discern what is true and beneficial, even in the absence of knowledge or analysis related to the matter.
Taking action that is not aligned with the highest good will not lead to this expansion of consciousness because the universe does not support unconscious behavior of any sort.
The universe wants us to heal and grow. It wants us to be the best we can be. Life is in fact always rushing in to support us with the experiences we need for this to happen. It might sound like I’m oversimplifying things, but really, when we do the best we can to live with integrity, life will take care of the rest. Being in integrity is all about clearing the way in order for a natural process of healing and blossoming to unfold. This is why almost all of my writing is aimed at helping us build discernment and live with integrity.
Arriving at these conclusions has been anything but a casual thought experiment. As a heady former technologist and scholar, it has taken many years of suffering, exploring, and deliberate pivoting—but as I look back I see how integrity has taken me through a healing process that my mind could never have designed. I also see many instances when I wasn’t in my integrity and how painful that has been as well.
To some, this process might seem like a lot of heavy lifting, but sidestepping it comes with a far greater cost. Seeing the truth about ourselves (no matter how painful) is central to not repeating our patterns. What’s more, if we do not develop discernment and a sense of inner authority, we struggle to make nuanced judgments about where we are and what will serve us best on a unique and ever-evolving journey—and there will be increasing numbers of such judgments to be made the further we go along. When we’re being called to navigate chaos, and there’s no map to follow, the only way forward will be to ask ourselves what we can do in order to stay in integrity.
Without integrity to guide us, we may end up normalizing the chaos, languishing in cycles of catharsis and righteous anger, and looking down on our “opponents” or on the “unawakened masses.” Indeed, a large portion of the social activism and “love and light only” camps out there are stuck at exactly this juncture.
With practice, staying in integrity becomes second nature. An open and relaxed way of seeing becomes our default. We learn how to pull together multiple forms of intelligence and to respond from an embodied inner knowing. We co-create with life and it steps in to help us in miraculous, magical ways. It becomes a deeply meaningful and fulfilling way to live.
In this place, it feels good to be kind and to align the inner and the outer. Moral uprightness is therefore a natural consequence of integrity, but integrity turns out to be much more about reverence for a process that’s already unfolding and finding one’s rightful place therein. Sometimes, being in integrity means being quiet and letting things run their course rather than speaking out; sometimes it means behaving in a way that doesn’t look loving in the most obvious or conventional ways. It all flows from a depth of understanding that goes beyond good or bad, right or wrong. And that might just be the medicine the world needs today.
Much love,
Anubha
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Nicely done!
Isn't the process of integrity same as skepticism? If, according to you, integrity is perceiving the truth, then everybody will have different integrity as they will have different perception of truth.. are you saying staying true to one's perception of truth is integrity. If that may be the case, wouldn't there be a total chaos in the society? Will there ever be an alignment with life surrounding you if that is the case?